The Drive in the SUV
by Meatball42
Summary: Dry cleaning, deer-related vehicle collisions and Hodgins knowing a bit too much about the seedy side of corporate retreats... an everyday drive in that black SUV.


**This was originally the second chapter of a case!fic I started. Soon after writing the fourth chapter, I realized I hate case!fics, so I'm trying to turn all the chapters into one-shots. This is just a really pointless conversation like those which usually occur whilst our favorite crime fighters (or at least top ten ;) are driving in Booth's FBI SUV. Hope you enjoy!**

**[*]**

Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan exited the convenience store in the middle of the woods where they'd stopped to grab a quick coffee (and in Booth's case a slice of apple pie which he'd dubbed 'the worst pie in the continental United States). As they walked back to Booth's black SUV Dr. Brennan inquired, "Are you going to charge the money for the kit to your FBI account?"

Booth opened the driver's door. "Yeah, I was gonna, why?"

His partner smiled as she clicked her seatbelt. "It would make more sense to charge it to the Jeffersonian. My budget is much less limited, and you could save your resources for other cases."

Booth shrugged and pulled out of the diner's parking lot. He steered the SUV into the empty highway. "It's twenty bucks, Bones, it doesn't matter who I charge it to."

They rode in silence for a few moments, then Dr. Brennan spoke up. "What do we know about the victim?"

"Steve Thomas was a personal assistant to Maryland Congressman William Kasseri. He organizes the Congressman's day planner, gets his suits cleaned, you know, assistant stuff," he grinned, looking at Bones. "Like Zach."

"No," Dr. Brennan shook her head negatively. "I don't make Zach do my dry cleaning. I find the notion slightly insulting."

"Well, not exactly like Zach," Booth shrugged, "but, I mean, the Congressman trusted him. He knew a lot of stuff, that, you know, maybe some people would like to get their hands on."

Bones smiled suddenly. "You think this is political. Hodgins will be happy."

Booth shook his head. "No way I'm telling that theory to the conspiracy nut. Before you know it, he'll tell everyone Steve was killed by the aliens from Roswell."

"He'll be glad you think so highly of him." A teasing voice emanated from the car's speakers, making Booth jump in his seat. Brennan pressed a button on the console. "Hello, Angela."

"How long were you listening to us?" Booth asked, trying to cover his surprise with indignation.

"Not long enough to hear anything interesting," Angela was visible on the screen in her office chair. "Why, what were you talking about?" She grinned cattily.

"Nothing, Ange," Brennan interrupted Booth as he prepared to retort. "We were discussing the victim's job description. What do you have for us?"

Angela clicked her mouse and a digital picture of an arm bone popped up on the screen. "Zach sent the photographs of the bones. That right there," an area of the bone was circled in red on the screen, "looks like teeth marks."

"Yes, I see that," Brennan said, looking intently at the picture.

"I don't," Booth squinted at the screen.

"Keep your eyes on the road!" Insisted his passenger, pointing at the empty road ahead.

"Bones, we're in the middle of nowhere. The biggest thing I'm gonna hit is Bambi." Booth replied sarcastically, but turned back to the road.

"There are approximately one point five million deer-related vehicle collisions every year in the United States, resulting in roughly one hundred and fifty deaths."

Booth turned back to his partner and gave her a look. "See, why do you know that?"

"Deer-related collisions are on the rise in this region," she explained

"Anyway," Angela interrupted the conversation pointedly, "Those marks? They look like teeth marks. From the scraping, we think it's from a coyote."

"Though without a proper mold, those marks could've been made by any number of things," Dr. Brennan began. "A bird of prey, a-"

"Let's just go with the best guess," Booth interrupted, not in the mood for all the possibilities.

Bones glared at him for a moment, but answered. "The mars on the bones were not conclusive, but I would surmise that the victim was killed either by a coyote or a mountain lion."

"Okay, so, animal kills the guy, then drags the head away. No crazy campers who think it's cool to play with a skull." Booth sighed. "Now we get to go inform all our suspects that their friend died."

"All of the friends are suspects?" A lower voice came from the screen. Angela swiveled around in her seat to face the newcomer to her office, the turned back.

"I didn't tell him, I swear," she raised her arms defensively.

Jack Hodgins took one of her hands. "No, I heard that Congressman Kasseri's assistant was murdered up in the mountains. I just had to check it out." He smiled. "That guy's a poser. He's been up on Capitol Hill for a decade, just keeps getting the incumbency vote, but he doesn't really do anything."

"Do you actually have anything for us, Hodgins, or are you just here to gossip?" Booth questioned.

"I'm here to discuss the interesting aspects of this case, like the corporate retreat the entire Congressman's inner office is staying at," the scruffy man remarked, coming closer to the screen. He turned to the beautiful artist. "A corporate retreat just drains a company's funds, and all anyone does there is have affairs."

"Now, how would you know that?" Angela smiled flirtatiously. Hodgins began to respond, smiling, but Booth interrupted him, turning the SUV into the parking lot of the corporate retreat as he did so.

"Can you two leave the past conquest stories for when we're not on a case?" He requested sarcastically. "And maybe when I can't hear it?"

"We have to go," Brennan said before anyone could respond. "Angela, can you upload the rest of the photos and send them? And Hodgins, can you ask Zach to bring you samples of any animal excrement he finds in the area so we could get a more specific time of death?"

"Sure," Hodgins replied, "you know I love excrement."

"You better be joking," Booth ended the conversation by turning off the monitor. He shut of the SUV and turned to his partner. "Come on, Bones, let's go meet the Congressman!"

[*]

**The stuff about deer-related vehicle collisions is true, and, if you really want to know more (I wouldn't suggest it) you can reads the article where I got that info by searching 'death rates of deer collisions' on Google. The article is at associatedcontent dot com.**

**About the coyote, I really know nothing about them. The living area map on Wikipedia implied that they do not live in Maryland, but they were on the NICS episode 'Caught On Tape.' If it's wrong, just pretend it was a really, really lost coyote.**

**You did just spend a few minutes reading this story, and a good way to make all that time really mean something would be to write a quick review. Even just a 'Awesome, excrement!' or a 'Dislike' will be much appreciated!**

**As always, thanks for reading!**


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